Sammarinese Application Form

Based on San Marino 2019

 

Finding singers? No chore!
Since this year’s record score
If you want to compete
We’ve got standards to meet
(It’s a change, we know)

Thank you for your interest in SMRTV!
Want to sing in Rotterdam? Not quite that easy
Songs, once scarce, are flooding in, so to choose the best
We’ve compiled some questions here to put you to the test

Have you an exceptional capacity for shame?
When it all goes tits up, will you gladly take the blame?
Are you Valenti-NO? Take off that disguise
Passed this part? Then please proceed to question number five

Our questionnaire is extensive, as you’ll see
So, lay all bare
An example: Could you sing dressed as a tree?
Covered in fleas?
Good! Now agree:
To sing a Siegel banger when he dies
Duet with a former Peppermint
Take Maltese bribes
Or just stand by

See, we said it was tough!
Wasn’t merely a bluff
Wait, there’s still more stuff…

Facebook’s out; this year we’ve got a song about VK (Thanks, Vlad)
Not your style? Try this duet with Moira Stafrace (Say “Tghidlix”)
How ’bout Lys Assia? Yes, we know she’s dead (R.I.P.)
You can simply sing next to her hologram instead (Tasteful? Sure.)

Please understand
Though you’re representing someone else’s land
We expect devotion to the task at hand
So, here’s what’s planned:
A robot band
Say yes and you’re a true Sammarinese
It’s so unbecoming to throw shade and get stroppy
Like Jenny B

Time now for the kicker
(You’ve got to convince me)
Let’s discuss the figures
(Not 1in360)
Time to check your credit
(Low? Then you won’t get it)
Don’t be shy, we’ll check it
Here’s what’s we can debit:

Fifteen cents

It’s nah, nah, nah.
I’m afraid to say your entry’s been declined.
You’ve no parmesan or ham to pay the fine?
No Georgian wine?
End of the line!
You can’t perform for us, but cheer up, please
There’s a place that welcomes all eccentric tendencies
And entry’s free
It’s ALC!